Wednesday, July 18, 2012

What Makes a Great Mother or Father? The Little Things

http://inspirationalparenting.com
By Taz, on June 21st, 2009

When I was in my twenties, my gaze was always focused on the big things—finding the “perfect” partner, the “to-die-for” job, the “huge” book deal, or getting into the “best” graduate school. Little things didn’t matter much; they were unnecessary distractions that I treated as rounding errors. I either ignored them or focused on what came before or after. Looking back, I can see that how deeply I was affected by films and operas. I was always waiting for the sweeping climax that would bring resolution, on a grand scale, to my life. I was young and eager to fit together the largest pieces of the puzzle of life, foolishly believing that the remaining bits didn’t matter.


But now that I’m well into my thirties, my view has switched. It’s as though someone pulled the telescope out of my hands and replaced it with a microscope. Now my life is all about the small things. My emotional landscape hinges on soft washes of color applied with the finest brushes. Faint details can render me feeling exalted or defeated. One stroke can make or break the image that I call my life.

This week was no different: The small things figured most prominently. My daughter Ayla learned to say “Up a tree,” her first three-word sentence used in the right context. She says it in our secret language—everyone else hears “Uh-tee” but I know she’s telling me that the chipmunk (“mah”) went up that tree. Ayla also learned how to wash her body in the bath. She waits for me to pour some baby wash into her hand and then scrubs her belly in large, rough circles. Tiny things, right? Nope. Only a parent knows that it’s northing short of a miracle when your child’s brain, muscles and synapses work in unison toward a common goal.

An even more infinitesimal highlight was when Ayla leaned over and kissed my entire face, articulating each kiss with a “mwa, mwa, mwa” sound. In that moment, my heart sung in sunny, optimistic chords. The joy of being kissed by your child, with such relish, brought to mind the beauty of the sun interacting with a cloud—and showering the earth with a spray of sunbeams—or the awe inspiring fan of mist that results when a thumb and water-hose meet at just the right angle.

The low points were just as microscopic. I’ve been struggling to organize a childcare coop with some local parents, and this week brought a few unexpected delays. In a year, I’ll look back and wonder why these events nearly crippled me. But right now, creating a childcare model that matches my aspirations for Ayla’s care means everything to me. The critical email I received from a prospective employee made me doubt my vision. A promise to participate in the coop that was nearly revoked filled me with despair—would I be able to find an adequate replacement? Or more importantly, did I have the will to keep trying until we finally got this Utopian model to work?

Ten years ago, I would have swatted away both setbacks like a fly that got through a hole in the windscreen. In my twenties I would have declared both individuals “crazy” for not wanting to participate and immediately replaced them. I would have stayed focused on the big picture, the grand payoff at the end.

But parenthood has turned everything upside down. The supposedly big news I received this week—that I finally found a publisher for a leadership book I’ve been writing with a friend for nearly four years—barely made an imprint on my emotional landscape. “I can’t deal with this now,” were my exact thoughts after receiving the great news. Most writers live and die for each book deal, and I was no different pre-Ayla. But now I know that I can’t tackle a book until I’ve got the small details worked out. Until I know that Ayla is well cared for in my absence, I won’t be able to write anything of value and offer it to the world.

Some days I wonder whether our perspective keeps shifting, from large to small and back again, or whether it grows more refined over time. Do the big things cease to matter at a certain stage in life? Is God really in the details? Objectively speaking, I know that I haven’t got any of the “big” things right. The perfect job, relationship and book continue to elude me. But in those small spaces of time in my day when I’ve got nothing to do, I feel a big happiness well up inside me, that reminds that I must be doing something—however small—just right.

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Tuesday, July 17, 2012

The 10 Healthiest Foods on the Planet




These 10 superfoods are proven, expert-beloved disease fighters and energy boosters. Add them to your meals and get on the fast track to a super-healthy body.

1) Lemons

Why They're Healthy:
-- Just one lemon has more than 100 percent of your daily intake of vitamin C, which may help increase "good" HDL cholesterol levels and strengthen bones.

-- Citrus flavonoids found in lemons may help inhibit the growth of cancer cells and act as an anti-inflammatory.

Quick Tip:
Add a slice of lemon to your green tea. One study found that citrus increases your body's ability to absorb the antioxidants in the tea by about 80 percent.

brocolli

2) Broccoli

Why It's Healthy:
-- One medium stalk of broccoli contains more than 100 percent of your daily vitamin K requirement and almost 200 percent of your recommended daily dose of vitamin C -- two essential bone-building nutrients.

-- The same serving also helps stave off numerous cancers.



Quick Tip:
Zap it! Preserve up to 90 percent of broccoli's vitamin C by microwaving. (Steaming or boiling holds on to just 66 percent of the nutrient.)



3) Dark Chocolate

Why It's Healthy:
-- Just one-fourth of an ounce daily can reduce blood pressure in otherwise healthy individuals.

-- Cocoa powder is rich in flavonoids, antioxidants shown to reduce "bad" LDL cholesterol and increase "good" HDL levels.






Quick Tip:
A dark chocolate bar contains about 53.5 milligrams of flavonoids; a milk chocolate bar has fewer than 14.


4) Potatoes

Why They're Healthy:
-- One red potato contains 66 micrograms of cell-building folate -- about the same amount found in one cup of spinach or broccoli.

-- One sweet potato has almost eight times the amount of cancer-fighting and immune-boosting vitamin A you need daily.

Quick Tip:

Let your potato cool before eating. Research shows that doing so can help you burn close to 25 percent more fat after a meal, thanks to a fat-resistant starch.

5) Salmon

Why It's Healthy:
-- A great source of omega-3 fatty acids, which have been linked to a reduced risk of depression, heart disease, and cancer.

-- A 3-ounce serving contains almost 50 percent of your daily dose of niacin, which may protect against Alzheimer's disease and memory loss.





Quick Tip:
Opt for wild over farm-raised, which contains 16 times as much toxic polychlorinated biphenyl (PCB) as wild salmon.

6) Walnuts

Why They're Healthy:
-- Contain the most omega-3 fatty acids, which may help reduce cholesterol, of all nuts.

-- Omega-3s have been shown to improve mood and fight cancer; they may protect against sun damage, too (but don't skip the SPF!).



Quick Tip:
Eat a few for dessert: The antioxidant melatonin, found in walnuts, helps to regulate sleep.

7) Avocados

Why They're Healthy:
-- Rich in healthy, satisfying fats proven in one study to lower cholesterol by about 22 percent.

-- One has more than half the fiber and 40 percent of the folate you need daily, which may reduce your risk of heart disease.





Quick Tip:
Adding it to your salad can increase the absorption of key nutrients like beta-carotene by three to five times compared with salads without this superfood.


8) Garlic

Why It's Healthy:
-- Garlic is a powerful disease fighter that can inhibit the growth of bacteria, including E. coli.

-- Allicin, a compound found in garlic, works as a potent anti-inflammatory and has been shown to help lower cholesterol and blood-pressure levels.





Quick Tip:
Crushed fresh garlic releases the most allicin. Just don't overcook; garlic exposed to high heat for more than 10 minutes loses important nutrients.


9) Spinach

Why It's Healthy:
-- Spinach contains lutein and zeaxanthin, two immune-boosting antioxidants important for eye health.

-- Recent research found that among cancer-fighting fruits and veggies, spinach is one of the most effective.

Quick Tip:
Spinach is a healthy -- and flavorless -- addition to any smoothie. You won't taste it, we promise! Try blending 1 cup spinach, 1 cup grated carrots, 1 banana, 1 cup apple juice, and ice.


10) Beans

Why They're Healthy:
-- Eating a serving of legumes (beans, peas, and lentils) four times a week can lower your risk of heart disease by 22 percent.

-- That same habit may also reduce your risk of breast cancer.






Quick Tip:
The darker the bean, the more antioxidants it contains. One study found that black bean hulls contain 40 times the amount of antioxidants found in white bean hulls.

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Originally published in FITNESS magazine, October 2008.
http://www.fitnessmagazine.com
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