Parenting Emotionally and Physically Healthy Teenagers

Your Teenager's Health Series : Parenting Emotionally and Physically Healthy Teenagers

Rearing emotionally and physically, healthy teenagers in today’s technology will be an adventure for parents. With the many forms of media available, cars to go from place to place, and the cash flow they have available, there are many more temptations for them to give in to.

National attention is focused on teenagers as it nears the anniversary of the Columbine High School shootings. Another plot just uncovered at another high school makes us search for clear-cut answers on ways to talk to our teens. Why are they feeling so overwhelmed, depressed, angry, and stressed out? Large numbers of our nation’s teens are being medicated teen suicides are up. How can we help them? How can we intervene before our young people from withdrawn pupil to angry shooter?

Looking for answers for these questions, one of the things we need to realize is our teens need an environment where they are understood and loved. They need affirmation for their self-esteem, and guidance for how to react to the pressures of the world.

We need to let them be aware that everyone has weaknesses and we should be able to admit them without fear of reprisal. Too often, parents and school officials deal with teenagers in a judgmental, critical, and suspicious manner. That is exactly the opposite of what they need for a healthy and normal development.

Teens need to develop who they are, learn what motivates them, and allow them recognition for the different people they are. They need guided and led through to develop becoming self-regulating, self-sufficient, and self-motivated. In their teenage years, they are breaking away from authority figures and trying to find out who they are as a person.

As parents, we need to bring our children up with our values and morals, but allow them to develop their own values and morals as they are breaking away from parents. If teenagers can see their parents with values based on love and acceptance and in a positive home influence, they will develop similar values.

If the home doesn’t give the teen a sense of values, they look next to the school system or their Church if they are involved in a religious group. Counselors help teenagers deal with their swinging emotions, hormonal changes, and peer pressure they feel.

It may hurt us as parents, but it’s normal for our teenagers to take risks, break rules, and to experiment. It’s in their nature, while they are trying to discover who they are, to break rules or question authority. There is a difference between experimentation, and self-destructive behavior.

How can we as parents and counselors of today’s teenagers help them to find their own identity and become mature responsible adults?

One of the things we can do is to give them an atmosphere with no shaming, judgment, no blaming and surround them with a positive attitude. If we feel we are being judged, it makes us all feel bad. We don’t have to be a teenager to feel those emotions. On the other hand, look how negatively affects our teenagers who are already running on stress and hormones.

If a teenager confides in you, you need to honor that confidentiality. Make it clear that you have to report abuse or if they are a danger to themselves or to those around them. Teens who have an adult they can trust are fortunate. If you have a teen that trusts you, keep that trust by not gossiping about what they tell you.

One other important thing to remember is, don’t overreact. You may hear something that will make you fearful, they already know what your reaction will be. They don’t need sermons or censorship; they need open communication and helpful advice about handling the situation they are in. If they are sexually active, instead of moralizing to them, help them to understand birth control and preventing sexually transmitted diseases. An adult can help them determine if the relationship they are in is loving and respectful, or if it’s damaging to their emotional health.

You can raise a teenager who is emotionally and physically healthy, by loving and positive encouragement. Guidelines and rules are not harmful, it’s how you reinforce and give them out that will decide the results.