One of the hardest things for any parent (adult) to understand is that the way a child thinks is often not the way they think. A child is not an adult. So when putting your parenting technique into practice, remember that a child's mind is not functioning like yours.
For instance if you make a rule and your child breaks that rule, that for you may be the end of the matter. But how does the child see their behavior? It's possible they may believe their failure to obey is a weakness of their character. In short the child may think that they are bad.
It's vital that your child sees breaking the rule as part of their behavior. What it doesn't mean is that your child is intrinsically bad. High self-esteem is important for all ages and particularly so for young people.
Being aware of your child's thinking is an excellent characteristic. Twelve is probably a good age for children to begin to understand that life has many shades of grey and is not always a black and white situation. Know this fact. Know that children do see things as right or wrong in their developing years and variations of good and evil are not something they consider until almost their teenage years.
Know too that time has a different meaning for a child. A short time to you can seem like an eternity to a child. Be aware of how they think and thus this will make you a better parent.
Teamwork is a no-brainer with parents being effective in raising their children. Having one parent operating one technique and another parent something else is likely to result in all sorts of problems not the least of which is a totally confused child.
Being practical is an excellent characteristic. Let's say you announce a rule, your child disobeys and should therefore be punished. What do you do? Some suggest isolation. The child goes to a quiet room where they sit and contemplate their deed. But do you have such a place? Be practical.
Kindness can be weakness with some parents. Your skills will not allow this failing. Giving a warning to a child may seem fair and reasonable. But giving warning after warning is not good parenting and the rule itself is of little or no consequence if it is broken and the child suffers no punishment.
A good parent is a good listener. Nothing excites a child more than their parent taking a deep and genuine interest in the life of the child. It might be their schoolwork, their hobby, their friend or even their football team. Be seriously interested and by giving unconditional love to your child, you are using the best foundation for parenting which is available.
It's a good idea to go with the flow. If your child is interested in something in particular, by showing an interest in that subject and your child, you are developing a seriously strong relationship. The strength of that relationship will make your parenting technique a joint effort with your child. Good parenting means listening and sharing.
Article from http://parenting411.com
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